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Scene twelve [Cut to cab] Barney: Why are we still sitting here? Let’s go! We can still make last call. What do you say Lil? (Pirate Accent) Yo, ho ho and a bottle o’ rum? (Silence) ‘Cuz you’re a pirate… Lily: Okay, eye patch gone—(takes eye patch off and throws it at Barney) And we can’t just abandon Ted. If it doesn’t go well up there he’s gonna need some support. Marshall: It’s been like twen..

Scene eleven [Cut to Robin’s Apartment] (Robin and Ted are dancing, all five dogs are watching) Robin: I think I like your “Olive Theory”. Ted: I think I like your French Horn. Robin: I think I like your nose. Ted: I think I’m in love with you. [Cut to the bar] (After Ted tells them the story) Lily, Marshall and Barney: What? [Cut to the year 2030.] Son and Daughter: What? [Cut to Robin’s Apartm..

Scene ten [Cut to Robin’s Apartment] Robin: So, Ted. What brings you back to Brooklyn at 1:00 in the morning in a—suit. Ted: I was just hoping.....to get those olives… that you said I could have. Robin: Would you like those olives with some Gin and Vermouth? Ted: Are you trying to get me drunk? Robin: For starters (turns music on. Leaves to the kitchen) Ted: (Looks up and mouths) Thank you. [Cut..

Scene nine (Taxicab) Ted: (Exhales) Okay. Moment of truth. Wish me luck. (Exhales) Barney: Ted’s goanna get it on with a TV reporter (nods. Laughs.) This just in. Okay (holds hand up for high-fives) Lily: Kiss her, Ted. Kiss her good. Marshall: Kiss the crap out of that girl Ted: Marshall, remember this night. When you’re the best man at our wedding and you give a speech, you’re goanna tell this..

Scene eight (Lily, Ted, Barney and Marshall sitting at a table) Ted: So these guys think I chickened out. What do you think? Barney: I can’t believe you’re still not wearing a SUIT! Ted: She didn’t even give me the signal. Barney: What is she goanna—is she goanna bat her eyes at you in Morse code (bats eyes)?? Ted (bats eyes) Kiss me—No, you just kiss her! Ted: Not if you don’t get the signal. B..

Robin: I’ve gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace. It’s gotta be blue, it’s gotta be French. Ted: No Green Clarinet? Robin: No. Ted: Come on, no purple tuba? Robin: It’s a Smurf penis or no dice. (Metro News 1 Van appears) Producer: (from inside van) there you are! We’ve got a jumper! Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge. Come on, you’re covering it! Robin: Um, alright..

Scene Six (Bistro, Ted’s date with Robin. There’s a blue French horn showcased on the wall a table away from theirs.) Narrator: The next night, I took her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn. Robin: Wow that is one bad-ass blue French horn. Ted: Yeah. Robin: Mhmm. Ted: Sort of looks like a… Smurf penis. (Scene Freezes) Narrator: Son, a piece of advice. When you go on a first date you really do..

Scene Five(Taxi on the way to hospital) Marshall: I’m sorry, Lily. I’m so sorry. Take us to the hospital. Cabdriver: Whoa, whoa, whoa—did you hit her? (Laughter) Lily: Hit me? Please, this guy could barely even spank me in bed for fun. He’s all like, (hits ice in bag using to cover eye) “Oh, did that hurt?” and I’m like, “Come on, let me have it, you pansy!” (realizes) Wow, complete stranger. Ca..

--------- Scene Four (The Bar—Focusing on Ted and Robin) Narrator: It was like something from an old movie. Where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, “see that girl? I’m gonna marry her someday” Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl? Barney : Oh, Yeah. You just know she likes it dirty. Go say “Hi”. Ted : I can’t just go say “Hi”. I need a plan. I'm gonn..

Scene Three(The Apartment)Marshall: Hey!Lily: Urgh. I’m exhausted. It was finger paintingday at school, and a five year old boy (takes coat off revealing a purple handprint on her right breast) got to second base with me. Wow, you’re cooking?Marshall: Yes, I am.Lily: Aww—(They kiss) Are you sure that’s a goodidea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.Marshall: I can handle t..